A Personal History of Music (or, Why the Hell I Do This)

1969-mid seventies: First I was born. Shortly after, an acoustic guitar belonging to my uncle was visible to me every time I went upstairs to my uncle's old room to play. Much can be made of this, and possibly some of it would be true.

1978 or 9: I begin guitar lessons. The exact reasons are not known for certain, but it's possible that I wanted to be Ace Frehley. Also, I liked and absorbed the music of Blondie, The Clash, Lou Rawls, Squeeze, Grease (the movie), and Disco. I don't remember practicing much, but I do recall being excited by the prospect of playing something above the 5th fret, thinking how THEN I'd be a LEAD guitar player.

Roundabout 1981: I quit guitar lessons because my teacher was a boob. My small hands had terrible difficulty with barre chords, but my teacher made me keep trying anyway. Years later, I busted out the old acoustic and noticed how high the action was, and now that I think about it my teacher should have lowered it, or put lighter strongs on it, or SOMETHING!

1983. Early Summer. One fateful day, I pulled the old acoustic out of the closet. I was home all day, all the time for weeks, mostly playing Dungeons and Dragons by myself (don't ask), and one day I was just drawn to it. I've been playing more or less consistently ever since.

1983. Fall. I start jamming with other kids and try to figure out Rush's "Anthem."

1983: Christmas. I got my first electric guitar, an Aria Pro II.

End of School Year 1983: I played my first gig, at an 8th grade graduation party. My soon-to-be arch rival and local guitar God Kevin Hummel had it taped through a special agent. I felt I played "like shit", but received complements nonethless. The rivalry with Kevin continued through high school. I remember one "debate" we had about who was the best guitar player. He shouted "Randy Rhoads". I countered, "Alex Lifeson." This went on for about 10 minutes. Neither of us ever joined the school's debating team . . .

High School: 1984-1988. I spent entire summers doing nothing but playing the guitar, sitting in a little room sweating my butt off and learning songs by Iron Maiden, Dio, Ozzy, Van Halen, and so on. Why? Because I really enjoyed it!

There was a "Battle of the Bands" during my freshman year of high school. I was out of school with the chicken pox all week, but I dragged my pocked self to the Battle -- I COULDN'T miss it! (I don't THINK I was contagious at that point . . .) It was the first time I saw a real guitar player live, a fellow named John Citarelli. It was incredibly inspiring, and I wound up taking incredibly wonderful lessons with John for about 2 years after.

I was in one band for all of high school, an ensemble with the curious name "Mass Departure." No, that's NOT what happened when we played. It was a metal band. We kicked all kinds of ass. By senior year it had become a "Top 40" band, which didn't kick much ass. But it was still fun, especially because Steve Vai had become part of Popular Music's cast of characters . There were lots of shorter lived projects too: high school jazz band, marching band (I played bass drum, not guitar), concert band (bass drum again), more metal bands . . .

Summer 1988: I played in the pit band for a production of "Grease." The other guitar player in the pit got the "big solo", which he learned off of a cast recording of the musical. That pissed me off because the solo written in the score is much more of a monster -- when I brought that to the attention of the musical director, she told me that the other guitar player already knew it, having heard him do it when they worked together on a previous production of "Grease." So imagine my disgust when he gets the solo, only to deliver the wimpy version! BIG LESSON here!

College, 1988-1992: Most of my most valuable lessons in college came from outside the classroom. God that sounds so trite -- but I swear it's really the truth. For one, I discovered Pink Floyd, Kate Bush, and REM, all of whom influenced me tremendously. And I continued to delve into the Pat Metheny catalogue, a habit I started late in high school after seeing his name on a concert T-shirt I thought was really cool. Funny how you become attracted to things, isn't it?

I played in the pit for a production of "Hair". That was really great, and not just because a certain well-proportioned actress would often face the band during one of the famous "nude scenes." For one thing, an incredible moment happened during the first dress rehearsal. When we got to the big closing number, "Let The Sunshine In", the cast started dancing around the room, faster and faster as the music got louder and louder. There was so much energy in that room, I don't think I ever played so hard. It was really incredible.

I started up lessons again to save my relationship to the guitar, which I was seriously questioning. A very traditional teacher had me working on elements of very traditional musicianship: learning lots of chords, developing reading abilities, practicing jazzy chord melodies. It kept me going, and now I feel glad to have done all that stuff. All of the reading practice really made me get to know the fingerboard, and reading out of a flute book introduced me to classical melody and a different way of phrasing --I actually tried to play the music as written, with like 12 notes in a row all legato, which I would try to achieve with some combination of hammering, pulling, and sliding. Meanwhile, I was writing songs and most definately WASN'T getting laid.

Grad School, 1992-1993. I am a grad school drop out. I'm ashamed, but there, I said it. Actualy I'm not ashamed at all because IT SUCKED. I played a lot during grad school, more and more as my drop-out approached. It really made me feel better. I also developed an adoration for a particular sub sandwich, it was so perfectly designed and executed. I only mention this because music and food have become more intertwined in my thinking as of late. And because it sounds weird.

Summer 1993: I went to Europe and wrote a whole bunch of shit. When I got back, I started listening to all the Beatles albums I had bought.

1994-1995: I played in a real quirky band called The Evelyn Situation.

The Late Nineties: I became obsessed with Frank Zappa for about 3 years. And a whole bunch of other stuff happened too, but since you are at this point probably as sick of reading about me as I am of writing about myself, I'm going to stop here. But please do check out the rest of my website (how's THAT for a segue?) -- much of what has been happening with me creatively in the last few years is documented in the music section and in my other bio, the "serious one" for the people who couldn't possibly tolerate this one. I would, however, like to conclude this little self-indulgence with my top 4 most-if-I could-do-any-musical-thing-in-the-world-what-would-it-be list. In no particular order:

1. Be Kate Bush's guitar player.

2. Play guitar in a really good funk/soul/blues type band.

3. Meet Paul McCartney, Rush, and KISS.

4. Sell Lots and Lots of CD's.

Thank You Very Much.

PB